(Originally published in Rapport magazine)
I first came across NLP over two decades ago and it changed my life, Without NLP I would never have heard about Frank Farrelly and developed the PCW model that I now teach in UK, Europe, USA and Asia. NLP as a brand has numerous problems which are mostly self-created. The heart of this is the incongruity about what is claimed by using these skills and what can be demonstrated in real life.
If you are one of those people who states, “You’re bashing NLP”, best skip the rest of this article. If you are still reading, then I would respectfully point out that its only through reflection and critical thinking that we expand our thinking and NLP is no different in this respect.
The public perception of NLP
My own experience from talking to the public is that often they are confused by all the different explanations on what NLP is and myriad ways in which it is taught. Even the two co-creators have very different views and there are no uniform standards. I hear that at least one group of NLP trainers after many years debate, still can’t agree on a definition of what NLP actually is!In this internet era, hyped claims about NLP are very common, but in my view not that helpful in generating credibility for the skill set. There seems to be a trend of NLP enthusiasts now presenting themselves as wizards, sages and shaman which personally I find a bit odd!
I have attended NLP trainings where a trainer will regularly exaggerate and embellish stories year on year to a ludicrous level where I feel I am in Monty Pythons “Four Yorkshiremen” sketch. It’s not helpful and many in the NLP world would in my view, greatly benefit from dialing back some of these assertions and this would present a better more congruent image to the wider public.
If all this sounds a bit nuts, this is all before we even look at trainers claiming to be stunt doubles for film stars, possessing magical telepathic powers and others claiming “100% success rate with all client issues” in one session. This last example is when I know the practitioner has reached a new level of delusional thinking. I applaud the enthusiasm, but when there’s zero evidence this is certainly not “walking the talk”
The problem with focusing on personality
Some who are critical of NLP talk about it in terms of pyramid selling and note that many training companies focus on getting the public to complete a series of courses, often at great expense. There is often a presumption that the mass population need “motivating” which reminds me of classic religious evangelism. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s a long way from developing critical thinking. When the focus is on the personality of the trainer, rather than developing skills this can unwittingly promotes a cult of personality.
I remember posters marketed by one training company with a photo of the trainer stating, “Trainer X taught me EVERYTHING I know”. Film titles like “I am NOT your guru” perfectly creates a “guru association”. This is fine if you want to join a group, but I have always marveled how NLP genuinely allows us to think for ourselves. The tragedy in my opinion is that I’ve seen many such trainers do superb work and they would in my view be far better highlighting where they “walk the talk.”
Let’s end on a positive note
NLP is a terrific set of tools and some of the very best work out of any commercial spotlight. I have seen many examples of this is Europe, USA and Asia. In all these instances people are literally “walking the talk” and doing exactly what they claim to be doing. A greater focus on this way of collaborative working would in my view be far more productive in ensuring that NLP is recognized for the brilliant set of tools it undoubtedly is.
As Steve Andreas once said
“No one of us is smarter than all of us”
