I am about to start the 2015 series of international training events and was reflecting on how similar many patterns of behaviour are across the globe. I am in a very fortunate position to be able to work with a very wide range of clients of all ages and backgrounds.
When clients seek help it’s because they are in distress and regardless of how much analysis they do, they remain in what I call ‘an emotional fog” This is where their emotional state literally clouds all thinking and they are 100% convinced that what they “feel” is what is true, not appreciating that there may be other perspectives. The difficulty for the client is that they believe totally that their reality is the only reality that exists.
This emotional fog usually results in blaming others and insisting that other folks are to blame for their situation. It’s similar to the victim mindset I blogged about previously and in the same way the client is so convinced of their own take on things they could be hooked up to a lie detector and they would most likely pass! While in the emotional fog they can’t entertain any other perspective and can become quite aggressive when challenged.
Spotting the signs
Often clients exhibiting this behaviour are extremely impulsive and make knee jerk decisions, usually from being hypersensitive to other’s comments. They also tend to store up resentment, so rather than communicating openly they keep an emotional diary. They tend to find it tough to maintain personal and business relationships with anyone who offers a difference of opinion. They will shop around for responses that fit their own views and tend to adopt a digital view on the world. Usually they have status issues and their internal feeling on how things should be is not reinforced by the reality of what is happening in the world around them.
How to deal with such issues with PCW
Many clients won’t seek help until they experience some real problems in relationships. As Frank Farrelly would say “When the pain begins the learning starts” The challenge for any therapist is that often the client requests help BUT only on their terms and when challenged is either in denial, becomes quite aggressive or starts to blame the therapist as being another example of someone who is “attacking them” Of course they “feel” this to be 100″ true but others around them can see a trail of destruction. In business situations the person is more interested in being “right” than the success of the business that requires some objectivity. In personal life usually this results in some quite erratic decision making. PCW challenges the client’s generalized assumptions and gets them to consider that although it may “feel” like a good idea, the resulting consequences clearly suggest otherwise.